Daydreams and Nightmares
by mjbuck
Summary: Y'know that dream T'Pol had where she was taking a shower with Trip? T'Pol keeps having that dream and Trip helps her work through the nightmare ending. Rated M for non-explicit descriptions of the show dream not to mention the way T'Pol describes it to Trip.


Once again, T'Pol woke up fighting the panic, gasping for air as she tried to control the rage and despair that overwhelmed her. She could still feel his skin against her palms as her hands tightened around his throat, his face reddening as he struggled to breathe. Skin slick with the water from the shower.

The rage began to subside as she forced herself to consider that this was, in fact, only a dream. She wanted to believe that she would never actually harm him. Not Trip.

Nevertheless, the surge of adrenalin, the pure exhilaration she felt in the dream, as she gave in to the impulse to destroy him, was terrifying. It seemed that the harder she fought to control these new emotions, the stronger they became.

*_This MUST cease._*

The thought was immediately followed by an almost unbearable urge to see him. To reassure herself that it WAS only a dream. He was fine, he had to be. She would just walk down to his quarters, and...

*_That is unnecessary and in any case, inappropriate. I will not run to him like a child running to a parent for comfort in the night. I am not a child, I am an adult, perfectly capable of controlling these emotions._*

Settling into position for meditation, she began to review the dream (again) in detail, seeking the reason for her sudden, violent rage.

We were in the shower. Skin slick. Hands and mouths everywhere. Soap making us both slippery, skin sliding over skin. The taste and smell of his skin, was wonderful. Glorious.

She noted with some fascination that even in recalling the dream she could taste him, smell him. Now, awake, she observed that she seemed to be able to detect his scent in her quarters. Considering how hard it had been to endure the smell of humans when she had first joined this crew, it amazed her to realize how much she enjoyed the way he smelled. How quickly she had become able to pick out his scent when he entered a room and how it could send an instant shock of arousal through her whole body.

They were in the shower. He had been massaging her back and neck as much as washing them. She could remember the feel of his tongue as he slid it up the side of her neck. His perfect teeth as he nibbled on the lobe of her ear.

*_Why IS he so fixed on my ears anyway? Judging by his constant comments about them and the attention he paid them during pur sexual encounter, one would think he had never seen an ear before._*

He called it "love play". An interesting term. Implying that the highly emotional state humans referred to as "love" was not necessarily a serious thing. That one could simply indulge oneself now and again without any commitment. Of course, that made no sense since humans seemed to have such a strong belief in love that lasted, "forever after", according to literature.

Focusing again on the details of the dream, she continued her review.

They were in the shower. She concentrated on the feel of skin sliding over skin, the water providing a layer of lubrication over their entire bodies. The feeling was unique to a person from a desert planet. Water on Vulcan was far too precious to indulge in activities such as physical intimacy while totally immersed in it.

The slip of warm wet skin under her hands as they roamed his body. She focused her memory on his body, all hard muscle and soft skin. Her hands grabbed at him and slid away because of the soap. She wrapped her arms around his torso and pulled him to her.

Fighting to regain some level of control, she had turned around to allow him to soap her back while she tried to slow her breathing.

He had, in fact, begun soaping her back, his hands; normally warm, dry, and just slightly calloused from his engineering work, made even warmer, but smooth and slick from the water. Then his hands had slipped around her and pulled her back against the full length of his body.

She turned to him and kissed him. After that hands and mouths were everywhere, exploring, touching, tasting. He wrapped his arms around her and she returned the embrace, feeling as if she was trying to pull him inside her skin, so close that they ceased to be two people at all.

Rage exploded within her.

She grabbed him, forcing him back against the wall of the shower enclosure. She could tell from his expression that he did not understand her intent, that he still thought this was some kind of "love play". Although he was surprised by the force of her response.

It wasn't until her face changed, became ugly and scaled, and her hands tightened on his throat that he realized something was wrong. By then it was too late, her superior strength combined with the lack of oxygen, overwhelmed him. He stared into her eyes, fear filling his own, as he started to lose consciousness.

Abruptly she came back to herself, aware that she had lost the objectivity of her attempted meditation, totally immersed back in the dream. Panic rising, the need to be in control warring with the need to relive those glorious moments before the dream had turned into a nightmare.

*_It was only a DREAM._* There is no reason to be alarmed, to fear that she would ever, in reality, succumb to her emotions to such a depth that she was capable of injuring Trip.

Still, she could not bring herself to return to sleep and risk the dream returning. Sighing, she rose and dressed for a very early day.

It was mid-morning when Trip entered the Science Lab and found her there.

"T'Pol?"

The sound of his voice crashed into her, shocking her out of yet another rendition of the dream and causing her to leap to her feet. Despite being badly startled, when she turned to him a moment later her face and voice were composed.

"Commander. Is there something I can do for you?"

*_Damn, she looks like a kid caught stealing a cookie. And talk about a loaded question. I don't dare tell her what I would REALLY like her to do for me. _*

"Are you all right?"

"I'm fine Commander, I was simply preoccupied, and your entrance to the lab startled me."

"Preoccupied…right. Y'know, if you were human I would say that I caught you daydreaming. Must' a been a good one to, from the look on your face when I walked in."

"I am not familiar with the concept of "daydreaming""

"It means, well, dreaming while your awake, usually about something pleasant."

"Then perhaps I was, daydreaming. It was not however, "a good one" as you put it. I was attempting to analyze the cause of a nightmare and perhaps I got caught up in the memory."

*_If that was a nightmare, I want to see her face after a pleasant dream._*

"Wanna talk about it? It usually helps to talk about nightmares with somebody. They can be an objective observer, not bein' so close to the event and all."

*_There, he had just given her a nice "logical" excuse to confide in him._*

She searched his face but saw no trace of humor. It appeared that he was offering a logical method of expunging the dream. After all, this was something that humans probably had far more experience with than Vulcans. The Doctor had advised her to find a confidant. Perhaps it would be helpful, after all.

"Perhaps this evening after your neuropressure treatment, if that is agreeable to you?"

"Fine"

"Fine"

He arrived at her quarters precisely on time and they settled into their normal treatment routine.

"Ow! Take is easy will ya?"

"My apologies Commander, I will try to be more careful."

He reached around and grabbed her hands to stop her. "That's the third time this evening. You never that kind of mistake, what's wrong?"

"Perhaps I am more tired than I thought. I have been unable to meditate properly since the nightmares began."

He pulled himself around and settled into position for meditation, facing her.

"So, tell me about this dream you've been havin'."

"I am not sure where to begin."

"Just close your eyes, remember the dream and tell me what happened."

She settled into the correct posture, closed her eyes and began, "We were in the shower. "

"Hold on a minute! WE were in the shower. You and ME were taking a shower together? I thought you said this was a nightmare?"

"That is correct."

"Sounds more like a wet dream to me."

"Humans dream of bathing frequently enough to have a term for it? A Wet Dream? I was not aware of this."

"What? Nothin like that, a wet dream is…well…a really sexy dream." Red faced, it was the best explanation he could muster at that point.

"Indeed…then perhaps this was a wet nightmare."

*_Just give it up Trip, no way you are going to be able to sort this out until you hear the whole dream. It is kind of a put down though, having her think that taking a shower together was a nightmare. A wet nightmare…damn, I didn't even think such a thing was possible._*

"As I said, we were in the shower. We began by applying soap over each other's bodies, smoothing it over our skin with our bare hands to ensure that all areas had been thoroughly cleansed. I am not aware of any toxic substance or other immediate cause that may have created the need for this mutual cleansing. However, we were both being quite scrupulous in our efforts to ensure complete coverage. I am quite certain that there was no portion of our bodies that was not explored during this portion of the dream."

Trip just stared at her. Her eyes were closed and her body appeared to be relaxed. But perhaps she was breathing just a bit faster than normal? When she paused in her recital to lick her lips, his jaw nearly hit the floor. He closed his own eyes and pictured the scene in his mind as she continued.

*_Damn! Is she really telling about a dream or is she trying to seduce me? What the hell am I supposed to say now?_*

"The water seemed to have the effect of heightening all our senses, making our skin extremely sensitive to the touch. Sensation was quite pleasurable, especially when you began to use your tongue on the side of my neck, just below the line of my jaw. I had my hands in your hair. It felt very different in the water, silky, and very soft. My head was back, so that you could more easily move your lips over my throat. You kept returning to my earlobe and catching it in your teeth. What is it that you find so fascinating about my ears?"

Silence

His eyes snapped open and he stared at her, realizing that she was actually expecting an answer.

"From what I have read about human sexuality, I understand that for some humans this is considered an erogenous zone. Is that why you seem so preoccupied by them?"

"Uh….yeah, guess I so. They are awfully cute.", How they hell had they gotten on THIS subject? "Perhaps you should continue telling me about the dream."

"Cute". ..I believe I understand. I shall continue. However, I think that, if you intend to be an impartial observer, you should try harder to focus on my words."

"Believe me. I was definitely paying attention to your words T'Pol. Every single one of them."

"It appeared to me that you may have been allowing yourself to be drawn into the dream rather than simply listening to and analyzing it."

"Maybe I was at that. I'll try to remain impartial, but it isn't gonna be easy. It's a pretty intense dream. " Now there was an understatement. Hell, it was all he could do not to reach out, drag her across the open space between them, and kiss her until he drown in her.

"In the next part of the dream we were kissing."

*_Somehow I just knew that would be the next part of the dream, at least it would have been if it had really been me in that shower with her._*

"The water was running over us and we were kissing. We continued kissing and exploring each other's body for some time. It was quite passionate."

"I'll bet it was." (mumbled)

"Did you say something?"

*_Shit, did I say that out loud?_ *

"Sorry, just making an observation to myself. Please go on. No, wait a minute. Exactly what is it about this dream that makes you call it a nightmare? So far it doesn't sound too terrible to me." *_I may go up in flames from the heat but it SURE as hell doesn't sound like a nightmare._*

"Indeed, up until this point it was quite stimulating. However, I think that you will find what happens next to be just as disturbing as I do."

"Y'know, you have the most amazing way of understating things…"quite stimulating"? So far this dream has bin' sexy as hell and if what happens next is what I imagine, then the only thing that I'm gonna find disturbing is that you keep saying it's a nightmare. So just cut to the chase and tell me what you think is so damn scary about all this."

Her eyes widened and her head tilted in that cute little gesture that meant she thought he had been outrageously human. Right then he just didn't care. He couldn't make up his mind if he was hurt, amused, pissed off, or turned on. Maybe all of the above.

"I tried to kill you."

"WHAAAT!"

"It was shortly after this point in the dream that I attempted to kill you."

*_Sure didn't see that coming did you, boy?_* He shook his head while he tried to adjust to the abrupt change of mood.

"I think maybe you'd better backup and tell me how we got from foreplay to murder. I sure must've missed something in the middle there. (wincing) Was the sex that bad?"

"I do not believe that was the case as the activities in the dream never progressed to the point of consummation."

*_Never progressed to…maybe that's what made her so mad?_*

"OK, so lets back up to before my murder. We were kissing…then what happened?"

"I grabbed you and shoved you up against the wall of the enclosure. I must have pushed you quite hard as you appeared to experience some pain at that point. From your expression I would say that at first you were confused but once I began to kiss you again, I believe you decided that this was just more "love play".

*_Love play huh? Interesting choice of words._*

"However, my embrace quickly became increasingly rough and soon became painful, you tried to push me away, I screamed at you, put my hands around your throat. I then proceeded to strangle you until you were unconscious."

"Wait a minute, I was unconscious? Not dead?"

"I am unsure, you slid down the wall of the enclosure and I am certain that you were unconscious at the very least. The dream ended at that point so I am not certain if I had succeeded in killing you or not. Does it make a difference? My intent was very clear."

"Maybe, maybe not. Ok, lets start at the point just before you shoved me into the wall." *_Probably not the best time to mention that I happen to LOVE aggressive women._* "What were you thinking?"

"I was not thinking at all."

"Excuse me?"

"I believe that I may have been so completely overwhelmed by the sensations that I was not capable of rational thought at that point in time."

*_Does she have ANY idea what she just confessed to me?_*

A sly grin blossomed on Trip's face.

"I do believe that's the prettiest compliment any woman has ever handed me in my whole life."

'I am unaware of having said anything complimentary. I merely stated that the intensity of the physical sensations had caused me to reach a state in which I was no longer able to think clearly."

He leaned towards her, the grin becoming a smirk.

"Nope, I was wrong, that one was even better. Kissin' me made you incapable of thinkin' straight…yeah, I like that a whole lot."

"I fail to see why you feel it is a compliment. YOU were not actually present and it WAS only a dream."

"Yeah. But it was a dream about ME."

It only took him a few seconds to figure it out.

"So. Making love with me in that shower made you lose control, made you stop thinkin' and just give in to the way you felt. That bothers you because you're a Vulcan and you aren't ever supposed to lose control. Made you angry enough and scared enough to try to eliminate the person who made you lose control. Namely yours truly."

"Darlin' I make you FEEL good, and that scares the hell out of you."

She stared at him for a very long time, considering his words, trying to be dispassionate and logical.

"Perhaps there is some truth in that."

"The good news is, I can help you get rid of the nightmare."

He was standing in front of her smiling, holding out his hand to her.

"C'mon…I'll wash your back."

...

It was difficult to decide if he was serious or attempting to make some strange human jest. T'Pol opted to believe he was jesting as it simply was not logical that he suggest they take a shower together. Not after she had just told him the details of her nightmare.

"I cannot comprehend why you are making a joke of this."

Trip sighed and hunkered back down next to her.

"I'm not making a joke. It seems to me that you're afraid that if we get too close… if we make love again, that you will lose control of your emotions. An' while it's mighty flattering that you think I can have that kind of effect on you, I don't want you to fear bein' close to me. What happened between us was the most amazing experience of my whole life, and I'd kinda like to believe that it could happen again sometime. But more important, I don't want you walking around this ship afraid; of me or of yourself."

"Look, on Earth we have a saying, "the only way to get over your fears is to face them." I'm tryin' to help you face your fear. We take this slow. Maybe all I do is wash your back…this time. But we keep at it. 'Cause you see, the problem with nightmares is that if you don't face up to them, they just tend to get worse."

"So, if I understand you correctly, the treatment is to intentionally make me lose control in order to prove to that nothing negative will result from it. An interesting premise, but containing a certain level of risk. What if there IS a negative result? An out of control Vulcan is not someone you would be capable of restraining."

"Probably not. But, y'see, that's why the dream bothers you so much, because you don't WANT to hurt me. You don't want to and I don't believe you will. It was only a dream, you need to see that and move beyond it."

He stood back up and held out his hand to her, but the grin was gone this time. Not completely gone, she observed, there was a look of calm assurance on his face, with perhaps just a trace of a smile.

"Trust me T'Pol."

She stared up at him for a long time, analyzing his words. That he cared was obvious. That she could trust him she did not question at all. That he wanted to repeat their past activities pleased her a great deal, more perhaps than was rational, although the interlude had been extremely satisfying for both of them. His calm acceptance of her unsteady emotional state, her dream, her need; his patience as he stood silently waiting for her to decide, all combined to prompt her to action.

She reached slowly towards him and grasped his hand. The solid reality of that contact did more than all his words to calm her. She rose to her feet and walked quietly next to him as they moved across her quarters to the bath chamber.


End file.
